A bunch of Once Upon a Times ago, people decided to give lovemaking a holiday.
It started out as Lupercalia…was rescheduled by the Catholic church and renamed for a sainted priest that married folks without the church’s permission and had a secret love of his own..depending on which St Valentine you’re reading about, of course, as there may have been several.
And then Hallmark came along and claimed V-Day as their own. Sell cards! Give people another candy-centric holiday! Make single people feel bad about not having a sweetie! Put pressure on couples to spend money to prove their undying love for each other! STRESS! DRAMA! AAAAAAAAAUGH!
Put down the panic button, folks.
Take a deep breath.
Now, believe you me, I’ve spent most of my VDays avoiding TV and radio nearly as much as I do at Christmastime. Saddest One Ever was the VDay in junior high…we had some sort of school fundraiser thingala that involved the sending of carnations to classmates, and for a tiny bit of money, you could find out who had sent it to you. I received a flower, and I was so sure it was done as a joke that I didn’t want to find out who had given it to me.
With absolutely no data, I had built DRAMA around that modest little carnation.
…And that sad memory stays with me still.
Valentine’s Day is the only day dedicated to the grand ideal of romantic love. People see it as the property of Hallmark, and they build up resentment and expectations around what they think the holiday represents.
But – as with so many things – the day is what you make of it.
I confess I prefer to celebrate VDay with my sweetheart, and we had our celebration in the dear saint’s name without much concern for the date on the calendar. I still tried to spoil my guy on the actual date..and I’ve been spreading the heart-themed joy with my coworkers and my housemate and I guarantee you that I won’t get to a fraction of the people I’ve been thinking about all day. The temptation is to dwell on the money I don’t have to spend (drama) and the miles between me and all the people I love (DRAMA) and the failed relationships (DRAMA!)) and all the things I can’t do for all the family and friends and loved ones I have (DRRRRRRAAAAAAAMMMMMAAAAAA)…and ya know what?
None of us need to ‘should’ on ourselves on a day that’s about Love.
Love is bigger than that.
I hope, my beloved reader, that your day has been filled with only good stuff. Hopefully reminders-of-Love stuff. I hope you have found some sort of beauty, some sort of joy, some sort of Love on this day – and on every day.
Because you deserve nothing less.
All the ‘should’ing we do on this holiday, on any holiday? None of that matters a tiny bit.
What matters is the heart.
I hope your heart is full of only good.
I wish you Love.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
Hey! Have a present!
My friend SJ Tucker offers up this song from her CD, “Mischief.” If you like it, you can go download it for free – or for whatever you feel like paying for the tune.
…the wild foxes danced when you laughed in your cradle
the magpies fell silent when you learned to sing
Imagine my luck, to be part of your fable
where you hold my heart like the fruit in your hand
the mockingbird sang when I lay in my cradle
the pipers all played when I rose up to stand
I’ll walk all the roads ’til I’m no longer able
and treasure your heart like the song in my hand..
(And if you like her music, you can go listen to everything she has available over here.)
“Drama Free Thursday” is the brainchild of <a href=”http://popfiend.livejournal.com/”>Popfiend</a> – visit here for all of his yeah-you-should-read-’em posts.
The goal of DRAMA FREE THURSDAY is pretty simple: These are posts that offer a different approach to stressful situations. Drama happens when we react without thinking, when we respond emotionally to a situation.
So! The first rule of DFT is – say it with me – “Your Mileage May Vary.” What works for me may not work for you. And that’s ok.
Second rule of DFT: YMMV. 🙂
Third rule of DFT: Discussion good. Drama? Not so good. Let’s try to avoid it in the comments. Tell me you don’t agree, tell me what the world looks like from your perspective, because I can guarantee you’re gonna have something to say that I hadn’t considered. This blogger’s soapbox is only an inch or so high…so please, share your thoughts and perspectives on whatever is posted here. (That rule goes for my blog in general, of course, but it makes sense to repeat it here.)