I have a confession to make.
He’s not done one of those for about six months now, and so I dropped to my pixelated knee and asked him if he’d mind if I started to post a few of my own. He graciously gave me permission to do so. (Yay!)
Please note, though, that this is MY interpretation of DFT. I’m the only one responsible for anything posted over here under the DFT header.
Let’s go be all non-dramatastic, shall we? 😀
I’ve been actively online since 1986, on all sorts of platforms. And yet I continue to fail at noticing when someone severs an electronic connection with me unless it’s pointed out to me, or until I realize that hey, I can’t see that person’s account anymore. Which must mean…
It’s not that I don’t care.
It’s that I frequently have the attention span of a gnat.
This past weekend, someone sent me an email to say s/he was defriending me on one of my social media pages. It was, hands-down, one of the kindest, gentlest, sweetest ‘I can’t be your friend anymore because of another friendship’ messages I’ve ever received.
And I admit that, just for a moment, the Dramamonster poked his head into the room and asked if he could have this dance.
I’m proud to say I replied, “No, I’m gonna sit this one out.”
“You sure?” He pulled out a bouquet of ZOMG SOMEONE HATES ME!! flowers.
I wavered. “No. No, I think I’m good. Thanks.” I turned back to my computer, wrote a heartfelt “I wish you well” message, and hit ‘send.’
Sure, there’s a seed of drama in this defriending. A year or two ago, that’s all I would have been able to focus on, and I’d have that hate-bouquet on my desk, poisoning the air.
But this is a good person, trying to do the right thing.
We connect with people in our physical world, or in our electronic life, for fill-in-the-blank reason. Sometimes we drift apart, for as many reasons as there are colours on this planet. I still think we do ourselves a disservice by calling it ‘defriending’ because I think usually it’s not a matter of dislike. I don’t think everyone that’s ever ‘defriended’ me hates me. I know I rarely ever ‘defriend’ because of a negative impulse. Sometimes it’s lost me a real-life friendship, which is a shame. But it’s a choice.
You can choose to see it as drama.
Or you can choose to see it as something else. Maybe your interests don’t match up anymore. Maybe you don’t interact enough to encourage that electronic connection. Maybe it’s an issue of privacy. Maybe you post too dang much and that person doesn’t have time to read or look at every single one of your cat pictures. 🙂
But usually? It’s honestly, truly, them and not you.
…Just something to think about.